my tutee just got a B for her case study! :D:D Awesomest news in a while!

Hello Tumblr,

I think that over the past few weeks, I’ve managed to understand a little more about myself, and by extension, a little more about human nature.

Some weeks ago I was really happy to have been accepted by NUS. After my first application completely fked itself up last year I was epic sian-ed about the whole thing. So I guess what contributed to the jubilation was the fact that all the trouble I went through actually bore some fruit. I was thankful.

But this happiness, this contentment, was short-lived. Couple of hours later I was informed of my PSC interview and once again I found my initial joy immediately replaced by the trepidation of the impending interview.

I was perturbed, to say the least. After two cycles of application, I felt like I deserved more time to savour this success, this victory. And I wanted to. It was just that my mind and psychological state followed their own trajectory :/ Am I just wired to pursue one achievement after another?

J

lalala

Hello Tumblr,

Its been quite some time, I’ve missed you. So sorry for the erratic updates, its not as though I haven’t been feeling like blogging; I do, its just that whenever I feel like posting an entry I don’t have my trusty computer near me. My Blackberry, while equipped to carry out the task, is (as I have realised) a far cry from my first choice. In fact, it doesn’t even come close but never mind about that. 

So, the most recent thing that I’ve felt like blogging about is the furore that has ensued since ‘the Ferrari’ crashed into a cab, taking three lives. Instead of being classified as ‘just another unfortunate accident’ by our traditionally apathetic citizens, social commentaries have emerged in rapid succession, fiercely debating not the nature nor the circumstances of the accident but revolved primarily around the nationality of the culprit. 

This, as many have observed, is a manifestation of the social tensions amongst the locals and the ‘foreigns’. For a long time now, certain portions of society have watched critically as the influx of foreigners, in this case PRCs, imported behaviours and cultures diametrically opposed to what we have been brought up to regard and  observe as social graces. I am sure many of us can recall situations where Chinese nationals made a complete nuisance of themselves, blatantly exhibiting what many would reasonably consider poor graces. 

Such memories can be vividly etched in our minds, and even if the exact circumstance cannot be recalled, the shock registers a lasting impression. This makes it easier to identify whenever someone comes to you with a story where he/she has been made victim by ‘yet another inconsiderate PRC’. Very often, satires subtly manipulate such sentiments, because we intuitively tend to take the side of those we view as our kindred. Whether you are aware of it or not, I am sure many of us have consciously/ subconsciously employed the technique of pathos in our everyday conversations, be it to influence others in conversation or to persuade in arguments. 

What I am trying to say here is that it is important to be wary and discerning as a reader because while we may feel for the author and his cause, it is nonetheless pivotal that we take a step back and examine the circumstance objectively, as opposed to being swayed by that which appeals to our emotions. 

In this case, obviously things have been blown out of proportion and war mongers have exploited the opportunity to further and spread their own xenophobic sentiments. As much as some (or some might even concede, most) of their observations are valid and somewhat substantiated, it still remains that our stimulus (the car accident) is a wholly separate issue from the direction of the debate (the ‘ugliness’ of a portion of the local PRC community). Take care to evaluate each in their own capacity. 

However, what this latest debate has revealed is the state of public opinion, which undoubtedly points towards a rejection of PRCs together with all the negative graces and behaviours which they have brought along with them. I remember that as part of my scholarship essay to PSC I wrote about our national identity, and the possibility of taking heart that our society has been able to exhibit some semblance of solidarity through the identification of a social ‘other’. As any high school student in the world can tell you, nothing bonds a group together better than a common ‘enemy’. In other words, the rejection of another individual or a portion of community enables you to better establish the boundaries between self and other, fostering closer relations within a group. 

This phenomenon frequently results in bullying, which is what our society is now being accused of, with regards to the PRC community in our midst. (So you see, school really can be a microcosm of society o.o) Whether the present situation is good or bad can be left to the individual to decide, but the government now has to keep a keen eye on the developments. 

Maria Hertogh days are far behind us; almost half a century of nation building has ingrained in us an impossibly high threshold of racial tolerance, further guaranteed by the Sedition Act. Cultural harmony, or disharmony, however, holds no such clear restrictions, and is any man’s game. A politician with a stead hand on the public pulse will be able to fan these flames of discord and campaign along populist lines, and it doesn’t help that the dominant political party is frequently (and easily) painted as the devil responsible for any, if all social ills.  

Time to take a good hard look at your immigration policies, esteemed Men In White. It may not cost you the next elections, given the present calibre of our opposition, but it sure as hell can cost you a great number of votes.

Just my two cents.

Jason

Too often, too close

Dear Tumblr,

Its been a while, but I bring great tidings!

Heard from NUS today: 

You have been offered Law and Master of Public Policy in academic year 2013 - 2014.

:DDD

Praise the Lord.

I’m so happieee!! Doesn’t the orange font just look so lovely to your eyes? :):)

(edit: whoops no orange font visible)

Life’s looking perfect now from where I am, having (seemingly) settled my university matters (at long last!). But a couple of hours ago I received a call which disturbed my little bubble of contentment. The caller was a lady from PSC, and she was speaking so quickly I had to get her to repeat. What I did manage to catch, courtesy of my extremely nimble ears, was something along the lines of “(incomprehensible mumbles)… from PSC…. free this Saturday at nine for a psychometric interview…” 

Frankly I had almost forgotten I had ever applied for PSC. It just seemed like I was going through the motions, applying because there was a need to, seeing as I had to endeavour to get some type of scholarship despite being perfectly okay with taking a student loan. Did that sound contradictory? Okay let me elaborate: the aforementioned need came from various directions, mainly societal and perhaps familial- with friends telling me an overseas education wouldnt be worth it unless it was on a scholarship and my mum being explicitly opposed to me taking a loan. Hence, I felt obligated to apply. However, considering the prestige, I knew the chances of me obtaining the scholarship would be slim. 

All of the above was based on the assumption that I would be studying in UK. Now that I have a place in a local Uni, however, there is no longer a requirement for me to take up that scholarship due to a couple of reasons. Firstly NUS has its own array of scholarships and secondly because I’, not about to bond myself for 50k of tuition fees, even if I had to pay it myself. 

Which brings me to the question… what now? I have no desire to undergo another interview (who likes to be judged?), especially not the reputedly horrible PSC psychometric one :/ , and I certainly don’t like my chances for the scholarship, so what’s the point? It sounds like I’m talking myself into chickening out, doesn’t it? Nonetheless I have consider both sides of the question and conceded that it wouldn’t hurt either ways (except perhaps totally humiliating myself at the interview hahaha but what’s new right). 

Best case scenario: I end up a PSC scholar, but then it seems to be a little overkill to go to Bristol with that scholarship, doesn’t it?

I think I think too much.

Love, jason

Pink skies and silver streaks

Dreams

Dear Tumblr,

I’ve been dreaming some strange stuff recently. Particularly last night and the night before. Usually I have no recollection of my dreams, but for some reason (and I postulate it could be due to the afternoon naps) I’ve been able to remember them recently. 

On Friday night I dreamt I got accepted by NUS, and accidentally accepted Notts instead of Bristol by mistake. Kinda stupid dream, probably cos of the Yale NUS interview I had in the day.

Last night’s dream was more peculiar. The first part involved a baby on a large pram on the mrt and it was just strange lah >< The second part im sorely tempted to go dream translator and make sense out of it. I dreamt I somehow got in my possession four incredibly adorable kittens, but they were running all over the place in a public setting so I got quite worried and was trying to get them to keep together but there were four of them and one of me so obviously I was getting run over but it was still fun hahaha :) 

Love, J 

(Source: weheartit.com, via i-just-wanna-runnnn)

Dear Tumblr,

The local blogosphere’s been up in flames recently over the death of the NSF I told you about and certain insensitive remarks made by individuals of the society. Even though they are by no means representative of the sentiments of the majority, such comments did manage to stir up quite a response. 

Many have already reacted, some rather aggressively and often in an adverserial manner, and I have no intention of doing the same. To quote an old saying, I believe they were making some rather large mountains out of  molehills- moles which, in this case, obviously possessed insufficient amount of cognitive ability to be held accountable for their thoughts and words.  

This is by no means an attempt by me to force elitist opinions upon you, my dear tumblr. Rather, I believe it to be a rather transparent analysis of the situation we currently observe. 

For some contextual information:

http://singaporeseen.stomp.com.sg/stomp/sgseen/this_urban_jungle/1066420/womans_insensitive_post_on_nsfs_death_sparks_outcry.html

http://temasektimes.wordpress.com/2012/04/19/another-singapore-girl-sneers-at-nsmen-go-and-protest-outside-istana-if-you-do-not-want-to-serve-ns/

http://temasektimes.wordpress.com/2012/04/18/zheng-huiting-apologizes-for-making-insensitive-remarks-on-death-of-nsf-lee-ruifeng-during-training-in-lim-chu-kang/

In the first instance, the poor girl probably wasn’t thinking at her point of posting (and I suspect she has admitted as much) so lashing out at her remark, undoubtedly insensitive, but ultimately not born out of malice, served little purpose. I can imagine her utter shock as everyone started flaming her left, right and centre over a passing comment. Disclaimer: not condoning her words, just acknowledging the fact that it was an act of ignorance, wholly undeserving of the amount of hate-comments. 

The second article, posted by another nincompoop, was so challenging I gave up attempting to decipher its message halfway. Bottom line is: yet another inarticulate little girl endeavouring to gain some measure of internet attention through incomprehensible yet controversial (yes, there is a slight conflict, but you get what I mean) comments. 

I understand the outrage from the (mainly) male population, be it those that have/ are serving NS. The underappreciated feeling, especially from those whom you have pledged to defend, sucks. Yet as some have pointed out, the fairer sex may never come close to understanding what it means to sacrifice two years (or in some cases, the remainder) of our lives for a cause that has yet to make itself evident. The innate fear/ recognition/ suspicion that this sacrifice ultimately serves no purpose, was meaningless. Yet bound by an intangible societal contract, pledged to the Constitution. The complexity of this circumstance is manifold and difficult to illustrate, and this inability to convey the emotions involved proves frustrating in its own way as well. Some give up attempting to put it into words, and sentiments take the form of one of our most basic and primal feelings: anger. 

The vehement response is expected, and understandable, but it is important to ask ourselves whether or not it is necessary. True, a small portion of society may have taken your sacrifices for granted, but this is a universal symptom of jaded societies, so what’s the point of lashing out? Besides, doesn’t the definition of a sacrifice imply that it comes without due recognition?

Lastly, and on to a more important matter (in my opinion), I wish to convey my deepest concerns for a society that appears to be losing its ability to express itself. It just struck me as I read the aforementioned poorly-written and wholly incomprehensible article (if it can even be called one). What has transpired in country such that there are people (and I would like to suggest that their numbers are far from few) who are incapable of articulating/penning their thoughts in a language that is understood by others. 

The Chinese have a poor command of English, and we ridicule them for that. The Westerners struggle with Mandarin, and we mock them, too. Yet they each are able to converse fluently and in an intelligible manner in their first language. Where does that leave us, products of the “bilingual” policy - expected to be proficient in both yet falling short of mastery of either? For that matter, Singlish is not a language. Period. 

It’s been nice sharing.

Love, Jason

Dear Tumblr,
Recently an NSF died. He was a Private, newly passed out from Tekong and probably just in his initial phase of unit training. He was one of Sam’s closest friends. When I first heard the name of the soldier who passed away, a part of my mind registered the connection with Sam; she had mentioned him multiple times before. The next thought that crossed my mind was: ‘it can’t be him… Where got so suay one?’ And so I put the news at the back of my head and carried on with my life.
Two days ago Sam texted and confirmed that the NSF who had passed away was indeed her longtime and extremely close friend. To say I was shocked would be an understatement. Shocked at how close the tragedy had struck, and how easily it could have been anyone else.
Life is transient and fragile. That much we’ve always been told. But death, death is constant occurrence. And as much as each tragedy devastates, in time the ripples die down, people forget, and the families and friends are left to put together the pieces.
Each day, we learn of or hear of deaths in the world, yet the emotional or physical distance leaves us detached from the deceased. We disregard most deaths because they do not have implications upon our lives; that particular ripple does not reach our end of the pond. But as sure as the sun will rise again tomorrow, one day, we will find ourselves at the receiving end of a devastating loss, so mind-numbing and soul-crushing that many will never truly recover from. And it is for that reason that we gather after a member of our community passes on; to offer that tiny bit of comfort and solace not only because it is the least we can do, but also because we understand that no one should have to cope with such loss on their own.
They say that the best of humanity is evinced in occassions of life, and death. Such events draw us together, be it to marvel at the birth of a child, or mourn the loss of a loved one. Indeed, it is gratifying to observe the heartwarming humanity demonstrated by our country as citizens from all walks of life, civilian or military, offer their condolences.
I shall now add mine:
Dear Dominique, while I never got the opportunity to meet you, your passing has taught me as well as many others the importance of life. Know that you will be missed and remembered, by all whom witnessed the remarkable individual that you were, as well as those who never had the honour of knowing you. May you rest in peace.